Well, let me tell you about this golf thing, the one they call “golf payout ascension open champions”, or somethin’ like that. I don’t know much about fancy golf, but I heard folks talkin’ down at the market.
Seems like these fellas, they play this game with little white balls and sticks. And they ain’t playin’ for peanuts, no sir! They playin’ for big money, real big money! I heard someone sayin’ somethin’ about millions of dollars. Millions! Can you believe that? That’s more money than I’ve seen in my whole life, heck, more money than the whole town has seen!

They had this thing called the “Ascension Charity Classic,” or some such. Sounded real fancy. This fella, Y.E. Yang, he won it. Beat some other fella named Langer in a playoff. Now, I don’t know these fellas from Adam, but they must be good, real good, to be winnin’ all that money.
- They said Yang got a check for $315,000. That’s three hundred and fifteen thousand dollars! My head’s spinnin’ just thinkin’ about it.
- And the whole pot, the money they was all playin’ for, was somethin’ like $2.1 million. That’s just for one tournament!
They got other tournaments too, big ones. One they called “The Players Championship.” That one was even bigger! They said the pot was $25 million! Twenty-five million! Land sakes, that’s enough to buy the whole county, maybe even the whole state!
It makes you think, don’t it? Fifty years ago, the best golfer, some fella they called the Golden Bear, he won $50,000. That was a lot of money back then, but it ain’t nothin’ compared to what they gettin’ now.
These fellas playin’ golf, they ain’t just hittin’ balls around. They’re hittin’ gold mines! Every swing, every putt, that’s money they’re hittin’. And the folks watchin’ them, they get excited too. They cheer and clap, and I guess they bet money too. It’s a whole big to-do.
I don’t rightly understand it all, all this talk about purses and playoffs and Charles Schwab Cups. It’s all too much for this old gal. But one thing I do understand is money. And these golfers, they got a whole heap of it. They livin’ the high life, that’s for sure. Probably eatin’ fancy food and drivin’ fancy cars.
Makes you wonder, though. All that money, is it worth it? Runnin’ around after a little white ball all day? Seems like a lot of fuss to me. But hey, if they wanna pay ‘em that much, that’s their business. I’ll just stick to my gardenin’ and my chickens. That’s more my speed.
So, that’s what I know about this “golf payout ascension open champions.” It’s a game for rich fellas, playin’ for big money. And that Y.E. Yang fella, he’s a rich fella now, that’s for certain. Good for him, I guess. Hope he spends it wisely.

But you know what they say, money ain’t everything. Happiness is more important. And I’m happy enough right here, tendin’ to my garden and watchin’ the sun go down. That’s worth more than all the gold in the world, at least to this old gal.
Anyway, that’s all I got to say about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed my chickens. They’re probably wonderin’ where their supper is.
Tags:[Golf, PGA Tour Champions, Ascension Charity Classic, Y.E. Yang, Bernhard Langer, Prize Money, Golf Payout, Tournament, Champions, 2024]